50 Coffees – Alette Winckler

I recently went on a coffee date with this amazing woman. Okay so all the women I interview are women that stand out to me and attract me. I always find them amazing but this specific coffee date was really great. I rarely find a women that is as passionate as I am about that things I am passionate about. So when I met Alette I didnt have any prior expectations except to learn something but this down to earth beauty left me so inspired and excited about the future. Her love and passion for women just connects with me so much. I started this blog series, 50 Coffees, because I felt that many of the role models in this country aren’t living for eternal purposes and we need to connect with the many successful ladies that are connected to God. We need those women to inspire, motivate and tell us how they did it, instead of just following anyone on a magazine cover. Among other things Alette does talks around the country touching thousands of women’s lives, so be sure to attend one of those events if it is in your area. I know it will be worth it because after a coffee date with her I walked away ready to take on life. Introducing the beautiful Alette Winckler.

Who is she:             Author, Image consultant, Speaker, Mother to three boys, Wife to Heinz Winckler

Drink of Choice:     Americano

Venue:                     Melissa’s Somerset Mall

Three must have fashion items for the next few months:

• If you have the figure and the legs, short shorts.
• Floral prints, in pastel, dark or bright colours as long as it suits your skin tone.
• I actually think dungarees are amazing. It’s fun. If you are over 40 I would say stay away, but if you can pull it off then go for it. It also hides a lot of sins, like a tummy.

What is your idea of the perfect romantic date?

We love going to the movies, we seldom have the time though. I don’t know when last we went! So for a low budget date, a nice dinner and then going to the movies and just spending time together. Then the ultimate date would be one of those dates like on the bachelor where they go on a helicopter etc. At the end of the day anything with my husband will be great.

The roles of women and men have changed so much over the years, with that in mind, what makes a good marriage in today’s society:

I absolutely believe in God’s order and even though I am very strong willed and have a strong personality, I have submitted to my husband because I believe there is a blessing in staying in that order.God is the head of the house, then the husband, then the wife and then the children. If you move out of that order, say the wife steps out of the covering of her husband, there will be problems. The husband must lead the wife and the family to God. How it works is that the husband reflects Jesus, the wife reflects the husband and the children reflect the wife. If you stay in that structure it goes well and if one moves out it creates problems.

How has being a mother developed you as a woman?

Well it has developed my body, into a womanly body (she laughs). Motherhood is unbelievable and nobody can prepare you for it, not at all. It is a shock on the system for you, as a married couple and your family, but it is an amazing blessing and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I am not the typical mother who was born to be a mother and lives to be a mother and that’s all I want to do. No not at all. I want to do more. Being a mother has humbled me on so many levels. You think your child will never do that and then in public they do what you thought they would never do. You say to yourself oh my gosh how am I going to handle this, especially if there are people who know you and look at how you react to it. I was on a plane with my baby last week and it can be difficult, the plane was delayed and it was his bathing and sleeping time. You sort of just say “Lord please keep this child calm”, because you can just image everyone looking to see how you are going to keep that baby calm when he is screaming. So children keep you humble.

If you could go back ten years, what would you tell yourself?

Don’t eat so much when you are pregnant. (She jokes) I would probably have told myself to have my children earlier. It is tough on your body and on you as a human being. Heinz and I have spoken about it, we wish that everything could have happened five years earlier. That we met five years earlier, that we got married five years earlier. Just to be younger with your children. You are able to do so much more with them while they are young.

Being Married to Heinz Winckler, South Africa’s first Idols winner, and being seen as this South African sweetheart couple, is there a lot of pressure to act a certain way or fit into a mould?

I think so for sure, by the grace of God it comes naturally. I don’t have to pretend or put on a face to fit into a mould.  We try to live in public like we do at home. I think if you have God in your life it is not difficult to be the real thing. We don’t  put up a face, we are who we are. There is definitely pressure to always be happy and portray the perfect family which we definitely aren’t. We are not the perfect family and we need a lot of grace. We have naughty children and we are short tempered when things aren’t happening the way we want it to etc, but we try to submit to God and give it to him and He sorts it out for us. Yes there are negative pressures and we get negative critique often. People think they can tell you whatever they want, like they own you in some way. They forget that we also still have feelings! It can be difficult, but what Heinz often says is that he married me and I was made for it. It is not as if I had to transform into some other woman when we got married. God made me and prepared me from a young age to be able to handle this.

For women out there who have a dream what is your advice?

I know many people have many dreams that aren’t realistic and someone has to say that. You can’t just say “go for it, go for it”. If your dream is your calling and your passion and God has placed it in you then by all means go for it. But if you can’t sing a note and you want to be a pop star I am not going to tell you go for it. Do what you were made to do. If you are certain in your heart that it is your purpose then pursue it. That is how it works, God puts a dream in your heart then you pursue it. It is so important for me to encourage people to do what they were made for. You were placed on this earth for a specific purpose so go for it, be it, do it. But if it is not you and you are trying to live out someone else’s dream, then stop it in its tracks. Everyday counts, work towards your dream and purpose. Do not quit. Pursue it with all your heart if that’s really what you want.