50 Coffees – Elbie Rudansky

Follow our Fifty Coffees blog series, where we have fifty coffees / fifty interviews with fifty women. We share this coffee with Elbie Rudansky, Mrs South Africa 2014 finalist.

Who is she:             Wife, Mother, Health & Skincare professional, Mrs South Africa 2014 Finalist

Drink of Choice:     Rooibos Tea with Lemon and honey

Venue:                   Chelsea Café

Three must haves for the next few months:

• Caribbean tan. You feel revived and rejuvenated and don’t look dull.
• Great lip gloss or lipstick
• A nice pair of high heels, a good thing to always have in your car.

Three things you never leave the house without

• Mascara
• Cellphone
• My wedding ring, I will never go without that.

Dog / cat / none?

Rather a dog than a cat person. I love Labradors, big dogs that don’t give off a lot of hair. So one day when we live in a bigger house I would love a Labrador, they are great with kids.

What is key to having a successful Christian marriage in today’s society?

It is all about communication. You must talk about your desires, problems and what you want to achieve.  Communication and making Christianity part of your life style. I am in the habit of listening to Joyce Meyer while I get ready in the morning. It is part of me wherever I go, and when I am driving I am listening to the latest Hillsong cd. These good things motivate you and being married it just makes you stronger and better. Stay motivated every hour of the day and communicate.

Women have changed so much over the years, what is a real women to you?

Being a Mrs SA finalist, part of our campaign is ‘She Is Bona Fide’. What being bona fide means is being your true, authentic self. That really makes me think about being a role model and just being yourself. We all admire Jlo and Angelina Jolie and we want the materialistic world stuff, but it is more important to know who you are. Knowing what your strengths are and what works for you. When you become comfortable in your own skin and your natural beauty will shine through. Oprah once said if she knew earlier that she could just be her authentic self, she would have made more money than she already had. That makes me feel so calm and want to be myself, I don’t want to be someone else.   Don’t try to be someone else, you can be the best you. For me that is something to look up to. To think wow she is comfortable in her own skin, she loves her flaws or her curves. There is no being fake, or plastic. It doesn’t matter if you have plastic surgery or fake lashes if you are not happy inside it will reflect on the outside.

You’re a mom, you have a beautiful two year old daughter. How would you describe motherhood?

Motherhood is the absolute best. It’s one of those things that I really wanted. I just wanted to have a child. Maybe it’s because I grew up with three sisters. Having siblings played such a great part in my life and sharing all those memories with them. I couldn’t wait to b
ecome a mother. Being a mom is difficult sometime because you have to juggle a lot of balls but it’s not an effort for me. If I think back to my mother, I will always  remember my mom didn’t tell us exactly what to do or ‘you mustn’t do this or that’. She was like our friend.  It was one of the things I can always refer and look back to. She was like a bff, she shared stuff with us and we could tell her about our boyfriends. Our house was always open on the weekends, so the girl friends and boy friends can come and visit. I want to be that mom, that Ivana, my daughter can learn from. I don’t want to be her teacher but rather an example and have her do what I do. That is very important in motherhood in today’s society. The kids get a lot of informed with internet and everything available to them, but at the end of the day they will do what you do. As the saying goes ‘action speaks louder than words’.

Looking over the years in your walk with the Lord, what would you say is one of the greatest battles you faced which turned into victory? (Your David and Goliath moment.)

My husband is twenty years my senior. It was quite ‘a thing’ because the world was judging, why is she marrying a guy twenty years her senior.  I really felt this is the one that God sent to me and I have never felt so loved before. Then another challenge came up. We got engaged, married and then I went for a check-up at the doctor. She said to me ‘well there is a good chance you will not fall pregnant’. I can remember it so clearly, sitting in that doctor’s room and being so humiliated, because there was a chance I couldn’t have children.  I said to her ‘no, I will pray for my child. I will have a child’. I think that was one of the biggest challenges I have ever faced but I just kept on praying and believing I will have a child. The victory was obviously the day when I gave natural birth to this perfect little human being. She is gorgeous with natural God-given “botoxed lips”, healthy and so loving. Ivana means “God is gracious “. (Elbie was tearing up at this point, she is such a sweetheart)

Elbie Freestyle:

We moved from knysna a year and a half ago to live on an island. I can really testify that I was down in the valley, to live on this island was very challenging for me. We moved with a four month old baby. It was beautiful like on the photos you see of beautiful islands, those ideal honeymoon destinations. But we didn’t live in a five star resort we lived in a house in between the locals.  My husband had a very nice job flying celebrities around in helicopters. My job was to look after Ivana, our daughter, and clean the house. It wasn’t easy because it was so humid and warm. Living on an island is not like South Africa, where you can stop in front of a shopping mall and get everything under one roof. There I had to go hunt for food with a four month old baby. I really tried to be the best I can be but I just wasn’t doing well there. I was not fulfilled. And that is really the message that I would like to share find what you love, your passion.  Soon that passion will become your purpose and you will have greater joy. Your cup will be full and you will have more to give. My cup was totally empty in the ‘valley’. I just spent my days cleaning floor as Ivana was starting to crawl and being a perfectionist, I wanted it to be perfect for her. So she doesn’t slip or fall. I still had hope, I dreamt of entering Mrs SA one day. I followed it online and saw how they enjoyed it and gave back. I knew I am strong enough to do this. But during the time in the ‘valley’, I was not.  But I held on to my hope and focused on the end result. To cut a long story short, we moved to Somerset West. Just being around the area, seeing the mountains and oceans, I started seeing unlimited opportunities, I made a decision to grab all the opportunities that come my way. So this is the message that I enjoy sharing with people, to live with greater passion, purpose and productivity. If you do that you will start to flourish. Being in Mrs SA now and doing the whole journey is great, just seeing how people are being blessed and what I have to give. It just makes me think that anyone can do it, you can do it as well.
You have something great inside you that will make someone else feel better or valued. Doing community or charity work and just seeing the smiles on people faces, it’s amazing. The other day I was so emotional because this little boy the same age as Ivana was sitting in a wheelchair because he has cerebral palsy and I thought this is so empty to give stuff and take photos but love changes everything. When you go, you make contact with people by touching them and smiling. This little boy and I have a connection now. Every time I go he recognises me and smiles at me and plays with Ivana. You can also do that. It’s not about having the money or just adding financial benefit. It is about making some time available and giving love, then you will see that there is so much we can give in this world.